The Space Between Us

Felicity H.
Nov 19, 2014
6 min read

Every time I try to see Your face, no, no

Clouds get in the way

Life is gray when I'm out away, no, no

I want more than this

All I want truly, all I got is waiting

Is already here

All I want truly, all I got keeps me hoping

Praying for You to appear

Well, take me on Your wings now forever, I love when we fly

Take me to a place that we never ever been to, alright

Well, the valley's looking small when I'm with You

Don't land us 'til I see a clearview

Those are lyrics to one of my favorite songs, Clearview by Tal & Acacia. They really speak to my heart, to my desire to soar in His Presence and my need to maintain a clear perspective in this confusing world.

Recently I had been having a difficult time feeling close to God. I had been tired, and probably not making the most beneficial or wisest choices. I would have my quiet times with Him, trying to pray or sometimes listening to worship music, but I still felt numb, distant and detached. I read the Bible, but instead of feeling like it was alive to me and speaking to my spirit, it felt like I was just reading words. I couldn't figure out why my faith felt dead, and it was extremely discouraging.

Then one day, while spending time writing in my prayer journal and talking to Him about it, I felt Him show me that it was not His presence that had left, or the truth that had changed, but that I had allowed things to get in the way of my connection to Him. I was aware that I had allowed myself to be absorbed by distractions and carried away by unguarded thoughts and emotions. I had reached a point that I didn't know how I got there or how to move on.

Psalm 139 came to mind, and this time it held a clearer message for my heart. A week ago I had read it, but instead of being comforted that God was near, that He knew me personally and that I was on His mind, I felt depressed that I could not feel His Presence and felt so far from that intimacy. However, the words that came to mind were the very end of this psalm, and it seemed like God was saying that if I wanted that intimacy, I needed to let Him remove the things that were hindering it. Just as the psalmist asked for God to search his heart, I needed to ask the Lord to search my heart and surrender my ways to in order to find His.

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24

I realized that I had been wanting to deal with my anxieties on my own, and to be able to do things more or less my way. I wanted to have some sense of control, but was depressed and discouraged because I really didn't have any, anyway. Did I want to continue this way, or was I ready to give up my will so that God could lead me in the way everlasting?

The other verse that was tied to this revelation was in Isaiah, when God encourages His people to return to Him. They didn't have to wait, or keep trying to work things out on their own. They could return to Him right now.

“I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you." Isaiah 44:22

As the psalmist asks God to see if there is any offensive was in him, God is ready and able to sweep those offenses away, and remove everything that hinders us from experiencing His love. He doesn't want us to spend anymore time feeling far from Him, but He wants to wipe all those things away and receive us back into His Presence.

Those offenses, sins, or whatever it is that is hindering our relationship with God are like clouds, or the morning mist. When wake up and there is a fog settled over the city, it is hard to see and we are isolated from what is beyond it. When clouds hover over us in the sky, they block the sun and we are unable to see past them to the light. Our whole world looks different, as our perspective has been changed by these things shadowing our vision. We can often find ourselves with things in our lives that are like a fog or cloud that forms a barrier in our connection to the Father. He is still there and has not changed, but our vision is obstructed. We no longer have a clear perspective, and we can feel isolated and alone. The darkness and distance that we feel is a result of our own choices that have caused us to not directly experience His light. He is just as near as He always has been, we can not as easily hear or see Him through the cloud hovering above us. We need to allow Him to search our hearts and remove those things so that we can see clearly. He is just beyond the fog in front of us, within reach and waiting.

I know that I will not always make the right choices, and sometime I will make mistakes that cause me to wander from the “way everlasting”. Rather than spending any more time than I have to in darkness, feeling alone, I want to be quick to recognize and return to Him. The beauty of His mercy is that even when we wander from the path He has for us, making mistakes and trying to do things our own way, He is always ready to forgive us, receive us and guide us back on track. In that moment in which we turn to Him in humility and repentance, He has already wiped away our offenses and banished the barrier between us.

Only He can lift us out of darkness and give us a clear view of who He is, and who He has created us to be. He is the One who can restore our relationship with Him, and He loves to bridge to the space between us.

“Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” James 4:8

“No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:39

“He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near.” Ephesians 2:17

I know I'm referring to song lyrics in this post a bit more than I should, but when I'm struggling with something, music is something that often really speaks to me. So with that, I'll leave you with the lyrics to another song, one that has been a prayer for myself when I know I've allowed myself to drift. It's a song by Shawn MacDonald, called the “Space Between Us”.

I'm still up, and it’s 3 in the morning

I try to sleep but my mind keeps going

Am I awake cause You're trying to speak to me

Lying here with my ears wide open

Can You fix what I know I have broken

There's a hole in my heart where I need You to be

But I'm right here, and You're right there

Will You take this wall I built and tear it down

And do what You always do

Making the old so new

Taking away the space between us

Filling it up with more of You